I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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