AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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