Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
