i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
