I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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