he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
no. you can't hotbox the world.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
