Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
