wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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