Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
