I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
sarcasm needs its own font
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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