dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
