I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
