Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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