I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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