well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize