I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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