My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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