are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
