His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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