oh god the rape fog is back!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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