Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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