Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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