the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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