We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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