what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
The ass gains better be worth it
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