Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
