do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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