What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
