Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
