maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
