Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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