Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
