Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
