i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
did i walk over a car last night?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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