Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
