I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
not ubering you a puppy
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
