i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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