that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize