Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize