"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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