Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
