So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
