Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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