The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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