and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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