This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
50% drunk capacity currently
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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