From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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