Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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