Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
