vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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