you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize