is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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