My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
