Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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