I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
