She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
