I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
