You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
