Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
