Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Randomize
